5 Powerful Life Lessons Learned From Volunteering In Seniors’ Home

Do what you want now while you still have the energy and time.

Have you had the opportunity to spend time with a group of elderly people? When I mean spending time, I mean chatting about life events and experiences. If you haven’t, I suggest you find the time to engage in a meaningful conversation with the seniors. 

I volunteered for 6 months in a long-term care centre for seniors. My job was to visit some of these wonderful people who hardly have families come around. I went there only on Sundays for just one hour. It was sad to learn that most of them have not had anyone visit them for the past 4 months, some for a year and for some, for as long as they have lived in that facility. There were many other volunteering assignments available at the time but I chose this one because I wanted to learn from these people that have lived on our planet much longer than I have. I’m sure there would be a major takeaway at the end.

I’m going to make this as short as possible.

1.What questions would you ask yourself if you had just 6 months to live

Whenever I walked out of that door, I found myself trembling. Many wild thoughts would run through my head. I realized that the greatest gift I have right now is my time, health and strength. When we are young we tend to procrastinate a lot.

At the age when we are in secondary or high (depends on what you call yours in your part of the world), we have time and energy but no money.
When we become young adults, we still have time and energy but little or no money unless you are like Lebron James or Justin Beiber who hit it big as teenagers (well, they worked their asses off to get there).
As full adults, our time is sucked up by our jobs, parenting and businesses we are trying to create. We have energy, some money and no time.
At retirement, we have time and probably money but the energy is gone (that’s only if we made the wise decision to invest wisely and allow the juicy effects of compound interest to grow the money we made while we were young).

Why am I saying this? I listened to a lot of these seniors’ stories. Many ideas they wish they had pursued and brought to life. Even though many of them lived a good life when they were still young and strong. One kept telling me how she wanted to be a teacher but couldn’t see herself going back to get the education because she hated school.

Another told of how she was a homemaker while her husband worked and travelled the world making money for the family. She couldn’t make an income for herself or even invest in a retirement account in her name. One thing happened and her husband’s wealth was transferred to another woman who happened to be a secret lover of her husband’s. The story is a long one, I cannot tell it all here. Very painful. She picked up the pieces of her life after that. She regrets every time she stayed home without developing herself in any other relevant skills aside what she learned in school. She would say “Please don’t be like me. While you care for your kids and others, make every day also count in your journey to grow yourself and skills”. Come on, this is a stranger I just met less than an hour ago. She didn’t want anyone else to have her experience. 

My consolation to her was: “You raised up kids who would impact the world in great ways, I believe”. 

Her response: “But they have abandoned me here. Only visit once in 4 or 5 months”. No one wants to be lonely when they have invested in people.

2. Money is important to take care of  life necessities. Don’t make it the center of everything

While it is important to make money while you are young and vibrant, it is also wise to remember that the money does not take away some miseries in life. Don’t make money at the expense of another person’s life. I know some people would argue about this.
Yes, we all want to be rich or at least not worry about lack of money. By the way, if you don’t want to be rich raise up your hand? Okay, nobody here. Let’s continue. 

If you burn family and relationship bridges on your path to amassing wealth, who would you spend the time with towards the end of your life? A time when what matters will be your family and close friends. If everything goes well in life, you would live a long life, (let’s put a number to this, say 80 years plus). Your family would surround your death bed and not your bank account statement. This sounds contradictory, right? As we chase money in our daily lives, let’s bear in mind that treating people right is what actually matters.

3. Instead of dreaming about doing or becoming something, just do it even if you fail.

What is that one idea you have always wanted to develop? What about that adventure you have been hoping on taking? The best time to work on that idea is now. You may have some financial or time constraints stopping you from taking that next adventure, but please don’t sweep it under the carpet. I have a bucket list of things I want to do. I have been pushing them off for so long, but these life lessons have forced me to put a timeline to each of them.

We all may not live till old age. If we realize that we are here for a short while, we will begin to treat every passing day as a day taken off from our remain stay here. We all have a countdown timer and our birthdays are kind of that countdown timer. Have fun and do what you love when you still have the health and energy to do them.

Whatever you want to do tomorrow, start today to work on it. Don’t wait till tomorrow.

4. Seek peace with your family and forgive yourself

In the course of life, we may step on toes. Our siblings, cousins, parents or even our spouse may offend us. Life happens. What we do to salvage these situations will matter in the long run. 

One of the stories that I can’t still get over is this. On one of those Sundays I visited, I met a man taking a walk alone. I asked if I may keep him company while he walked around the facility. He accepted. While we talked about his life experiences, he paused at some point and asked me to help him tell his two kids that he bears so much pain in his mind. I should tell them that he is very sorry for being a tiger dad. He narrated how his toughness and aggression made his children to resent him. 

Whatever happens, keep your family tightly-knit together. Don’t be a tiger or tigress parent. Let love rule.

5. Create memories of your different life experiences, save or document them.

Have fun and do what you love when you still have the health and energy. Memories of your younger self can be therapeutic at old age.  

Take lots of photos if you can. We are so lucky to have easy access to cameras in our generation. Keep a record of simple moments with loved ones and even random people.

One lovely lady I met on one of those Sundays had more than 10 photo albums on her table and a collection of Babydolls she had been keeping since she was a little girl. The oldest was a gift from her grandmother in 1938. OMG! A toy that old!! Yes, it reminds her of fun childhood memories. Would I be able to keep anything for this long? I’m not sure but I think it is worth trying.

She beamed with smiles when she flipped through the pages of those photo albums. At some point, she would pause for a minute without saying a word. Those documented events in photos brought back memories with different emotions.

I may not put all lessons learned from this volunteer experience in words. It is a worthy adventure to take. All the people I met in that amazing facility taught me great lessons that have changed my perspective about life in a positive way.

Let us know about that one activity that has changed the way you view life in the comment section. If you like what you read here, share with friends to keep the fire burning.

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